Blink’s Origin Story: Na’lagaat
Meeting in the Dark
In Spring 2012, I had a dining experience I will never forget in Yafo, Israel. It wasn't the food that made it so special (indeed, the food was average), but the ambiance.... or complete lack thereof (at least, as far as I could see).
The restaurant I ate at is one of few blackout restaurants in the world, where diners enjoy their meal in complete and utter darkness. You may think that one's eyes would adjust to the darkness, or at least be able to sense shadows after a couple hours… but I assure you, they do not. And so, I spent the evening patting the table slowly in search of my water glass, searching for another roll in an empty breadbasket, lifting an empty fork to my mouth expecting there to be food on it, and appreciating how different experiences are when you're totally blind.
But beyond the new sensory experience, what made the experience so memorable was the company. I went with my partner, who I’d been with for a year at that time. We thought it was going to be an intimate, fun experience for the two of us. But… we quickly learned that we wouldn’t be dining alone. Upon being welcomed to the restaurant, we were informed that we would be seated with others at communal tables, but that everyone could choose whether or not to enjoy their meal privately or whether to socialize with the others at their table. My partner and I enjoyed most of our meal solo before something sparked a conversation between us and the other couple at the table... and *that's* when the magic happened. We chatted about the dining experience, where we were from, where we lived, what we did for a living, and more... without any inkling about what the others looked like.
When dessert came around, we discovered that we each got the desserts we ordered at the start of the meal… but also got an additional treat. It turns out that it was someone's birthday! And with just a small prompting from one of the waitresses who started singing happy birthday, the ENTIRE restaurant burst into song, singing happy birthday with more gusto than I had ever experienced in a restaurant birthday song. As everyone clapped and sang noisily, I couldn’t help but laugh. It was as if everyone, with the knowledge that they couldn’t be seen in the darkness, lost their inhibitions.
When the meal ended and our waitress led us out of the restaurant and back into the light, we got a glimpse of the couple we had been chatting with. I was... surprised, to say the least. They were far less attractive than I imagined. Not that they were unattractive... but for some reason I thought they would be rather good looking (based solely on our amazing conversation with them during the meal).
I left that meal with the realization that humans make so many assumptions about others based on physical characteristics and appearances… and that there is so much power to connecting with someone when you aren’t subconsciously making conclusions about who they are based on what they look like… or worrying about what they might be thinking about you based on what you look like.
I’ve tried to carry that with me as I walk through the world, while traveling and at home, and regularly remind myself how much more powerful relationships can be if we start off with just a little less inhibition and a little more vulnerability.
