5 Tips for Online Dating
Let’s start out this post with some honesty. Dating is hard. You are putting yourself out there and risking rejection. But dating can also be fun and exciting! So, the Blink Team is here to help with the sometimes tumultuous dating waters. Below are five tips for getting your sea legs, and navigating the online dating world.
1. Be Transparent
I used to spend a lot of time on dating apps trying to be who I thought my matches wanted me to be. I tried to be the cool girl who was down for casual hook-ups when I wasn’t. I listened to metal music with a smile on my face and a deep desire to vomit in my heart. One time, I even went along with the idea of living in a tiny home when in reality, my skin care products alone couldn’t fit in a tiny home.
If you want to find a compatible partner, you have to be honest. Be as transparent as possible about what you’re looking for upfront. You have nothing to lose by telling a complete stranger exactly what you’re seeking in a partner. With as many apps and dating services there are these days, why waste time catching feelings for someone who wants completely different things? I’m not saying to lead with a proposal, but figure out what it is that you want and be open about it during your Blink Date, which is intended to be a chance for you to gauge whether you have a connection with someone that can grow into something more.
2. Stay Positive
Sure, that guy was great and you thought the first date went really well, but he might just not be into you (or you might not be into him!), and that is okay. While dating app culture can be toxic at times, you have to remember how many options there are out there. Keep that gorgeous head held high. There truly are plenty of fish in the sea. Allow yourself some time to lick those rejection wounds, and then move forward. And if you find yourself not feeling a connection with someone, say so. Kindly. Let’s cancel ghosting and game playing in 2020 and beyond.
3. Don’t Ignore the Red Flags
I wish I had a dollar for every bouquet of red flags I have received and graciously kept, putting them in a vase of water and sniffing them regularly. So, trust me when I tell you: do not ignore them. You have options (are you sensing a theme here?) If someone tells you that they don’t want kids, they probably don’t want kids. Don’t stick around because they are dreamy and fool yourself into thinking you will change their mind down the road. Don’t settle for someone requesting feet pics in the first message (unless you’re into that - in which case, by all means!) or for anyone who gives you any sort of negative vibes. Yes, I said vibes. Trust your gut. You don’t owe people anything.
Online dating isn’t just a place to meet people, but also a place to determine whether the people you meet are ones you’re compatible with. Blink encourages people to do just that by creating a space where direct communication is the primary method of interacting - take advantage of that when meeting and getting to know potential matches.
4. Be Vulnerable
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.” - Brene Brown
#4 is probably the hardest of these tips. Being vulnerable is scary, and can be extra challenging if you’ve been rejected in the past, but let’s learn from the incredible Brene Brown and keep putting ourselves out there. Being authentic and real in a culture that is smoke and mirrors is brave and should be celebrated. It is easy to have superficial conversations with someone, but true connections come when we open ourselves up to the possibility of something more.
When going on your virtual blind speed dates, remember that you have 10 minutes to make your impression - so open up and make the most of it!
5. Stay Safe
Last, but never least: stay safe. In 2020, that might mean sticking with virtual dates for a bit - indeed, virtual dates are a great way to safely meet and get to know prospective matches… without having to leave your couch!
The true crime aficionado in me also wants to remind you to meet publicly for the first time (SSDGM - if you know, you know). No going for hikes in a secluded forest or going to the harbor at night. Tell your friends where you are going. Hell - tell them who you are going to meet. Whatever you have to do to stay safe and confident while meeting up with someone new.
